Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

Curse of Michael Myers, the sixth entry in the Halloween series tends to get a lot of slack among fans. Now I’m not saying this is the best movie of all time, but it’s definitely not the redheaded step child some would make it out to be. In my humble opinion, its actually one of the best in the series! It’s a very dark, creepy, moody film that finally fills us in on the question of “why” that we have about Myers intentions. Remember when I was bitching about how Rob Zombie fucked up the remake by including an origin? Well this film manages to give him one that doesn’t suck major horse cock!

“Please Michael, don’t hurt me.” That’s the first thing we hear, then we’re treated to some pretty traumatic child birth… A Mysterious women give’s birth in a mysterious facility surrounded by mysterious people. Probably the most Mysterious start to any Halloween film! The baby is taken away from the mother and given to the man in black who popped up rather randomly in the fifth film. We’re treated to a monologue about how Myers and Jamie disappeared 6 years ago. The mystery women is revealed (a little bit later anyway) as Jamie. She escapes (by this point the death toll is already up to 2! You know this movie is going to be good!) and drives off to a bus station. It’s kind of odd… if she’s apparently been missing since the events of Halloween 5 she really shouldn’t know how to drive…. Like Uncle like Niece I suppose… Anyway, she calls up a radio shock jock because the emergency lines are busy due to the epic storm outside. Turns out this is a pretty good idea, as both kinda creepy traumatized Tommy Doyle AKA the little boy from the first film and Loomis happen to be listening to the radio broadcast. Now this shock jock is coming to Haddonfield on Halloween to do a… thing on Halloween in Haddonfield. Jamie leaves her baby at the bus station and runs to a barn. Michael kills her. Next day we see Haddonfield. Apparently Halloween is banned in this town… Yet we see Halloween decorations and Trick or Treaters… must not be a very well enforced rule, despite the fact that a major plot point is this fall festival sort of deal to get Halloween back in Haddonfield. Anyway, we meet John Strode, who is Laurie’s uncle, and his wife Deborah. Living there with them is their daughter Kara and her son Danny. Also, yes. She is a total MILF. They also have a son named Tim. Tommy figures out that Jamie called from a bus station and heads there. He proceeds to magically find the baby and takes him away. He also conveniently heads to the local hospital and finds Loomis. Loomis say’s that Jamie is that last of Myers bloodline, while Tommy shows him living, crying, shitting proof. The middle part of the film is basically classic Halloween. Myers stalks and kills some folks while Loomis and Tommy are on his tail. Later on we find out that Michael suffers from the curse of thorn. Basically, the curse is what causes him to kill his family members. The Cult of thorn is apparently controlling him; possibly from the start. The film doesn’t clarify weather he’s controlled from the events of the first film, all you really know is that he was from at least 5. Thus, the plot is convoluted. Why do they impregnate Jamie just for Michael to kill the baby? Just kill Jamie and that’s it, no more Myers blood. What’s the point of bringing another child into the world just to kill it? Ugh so many questions…

This is a good movie. The plot is sort of convoluted and hard to follow but it’s alright. Plenty of good kills in this one, lots of gore.  This film is actually pretty creepy and suspenseful. This is really the only film in the series that can manage to actually make my feel uneasy while watching. It’s really dark with a gloomy mood to it; you can tell they were going for a darker film after Halloween 5. This film is different from the others, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s a bit of a fresh take on the Series, at least the Cult angle was. The middle “classic” Halloween part was great as well. You can’t go to off the wall with this sort of movies; you have to root the stuff firmly in the series but deviate from the normal style subtly. This film manages to pull it off Very well. Personally I don’t like the thorn story that much, but it does bring some uniqueness to this film that the others lack. Also, the mask Myers uses in tis film looks fantastic, much better then that shit they use in the last film.  The producers cut of the film is more popular with the Halloween fan base then the theatrical cut. Problem is, only way you can get a hold of that is by bootleg. From what I’ve heard, I think I would prefer the theatrical cut anyway… Producers cut sounds pretty lame.

Halloween 5 : The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers is yet another addition to the Halloween franchise. It’s a direct sequel to Halloween 4 and takes place a year after the first.

The film starts right where the last left off. Apparently, Myers has been unconscious in a bum’s hovel underground for like, a year. Also, Jamie is now living in a home for disturbed children or something like that after the events of Halloween 4. Her foster parents are out of town and Rachael is getting ready to join them. Loomis is watching over Jamie at the children’s hospital. He seems to be getting progressively nuttier after the events of 4, but really can you blame the poor old guy? By the end of the film Loomis is absolutely insane! Basically, the story is that Myers comes back from his near death on Halloween and once again goes on the hunt/rampage for his Niece, who inexplicably has a psychic link with Myers. The man is quite dedicated to his niece ;) Anyway, he spends the movie stalking teenagers trying to find Jamie, either that or he’s just trying to make her suffer by killing everyone/thing she seems to care about… Thus making him an even bigger bastard then he was in the last film. A bastard with a way shittier mask I might add… Seriously it only looks good in the fisrst shot you see it in, after that… Along the way we’re introduced to a bunch of meaningless, unlikable and annoying characters. Hell, even Loomis is a total dick in this movie. Jamie is far more annoying then she was in the fourth film. She barely talks but always fucking SCREAMS! We also get to suffer with another little kid who stutters every line. We also see a mysterious man in black whom the film makers don’t even know the purpose of. Though, he is explained in the next film.

Over all this one is sort of weak, there’s not a lot of blood (though the blood that is here is pretty cool) to make up for the kind of bland plot. The body count isn’t all that high but most of the kills are pretty interesting. To bad that’s really all it has going for it. It’s not a bad film but it’s not very good either. It doesn’t add much of value to the series and it doesn’t particularly stand out among the other films.  It’s a bit slow really, some scenes drag on a bit longer then they really should. Like the scene in the barn with the kittens and some assholes fucking around. There’s actually a pretty painfully long sex scene (also in the barn, seriously this place gets more screen time then Loomis), and the only nudity you see is the guy’s bare, pasty white, hairless chest… DOES NOT DELIVER! The chick is pretty hot too. Lame. I mean it is pretty sensual and well done but it really didn’t need to be this long. I also like how this is considered a “graphic” sex scene on IMDB (and other places I’m sure, you won’t see that part on TV broadcasts) because he pulls out a condom, implying he’s going to use it. They’re actually having safe sex in a horror movie… Like, the rarest kind of horror movie sex… and it’s considered “too graphic.” That’s hilarious. Anyway, the film is worth watching if you’re a fan of the series or if you just dig slasher films, but it’s not quite as good as one, two, four or six. Oh and Michael Myers never really gets any revenge...